


The Melting Milky Way

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Dubious humor because it's me, Gen, Humor, Post-Season/Series 02, Spoilers for the last episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9429335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: Shiro returns, but he has questions.  How well did the team manage while he was gone?He doesn't get the answer he wanted.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Blame Butteredonions for this

When Shiro’s pod came to a halt in one of the smaller hangars in the castle, he slumped back in relief.

Home.  He’d half forgotten what it felt like to be ripped away like that.  He’d gotten so used to space that the ache he’d felt for Earth had dulled into a low throb, buried under all the other sensations.

Then he’d been ripped away again, from the place that had finally settled into Shiro’s skin, become Home while he couldn’t return from the planet they came from.

That had hurt.

Worse, it was Shiro’s own fault.  The energy of the blast, the back and forth with Zarkon, the use of the wings and then the bayard, and the sheer use of Quintessence had sent him back into that plane where they’d fought.  Shiro had thought, at the time, it was a mental thing.  Spiritual.  Nearly metaphoric, only affecting the bond with the lion.

More fool him, apparently.

Then Shiro had been stuck in the limbo, trapped in that pocket of space.  And the Black Lion had tried to reach out, to soothe him and bring him down, but Shiro hadn’t been receptive.  The reality of being restrained again had combined with the fatigue of the fight, sending his mind spiraling into another time and place, and all Shiro could do was fight his way free and to  _ run. _

And he’d managed, tapping into the Black Lion’s elements.  Where the Green Lion could create vines from nothing, where the Blue Lion could freeze and the Red Lion could spit flames, the Black Lion could travel the skies and beyond.

Which was how Shiro had found himself halfway across the universe, dumped out in the nearest place that had a matching energy signal to the Black Lion.  It had been a planet with a huge field of shining, dark metal, the same material the Black Lion had been made of.

Shiro was just damn lucky it was inhabited, or else he’d still be there.  Or his dead, starved body would be.

So he’d made contact, and he’d hitched rides and followed rumors until he finally, finally was able to get off a signal to the castle.

Then, Shiro had been able to tell them he was coming home.

Pushing out of the chair, Shiro groaned and stretched.  It was good to be able to walk around.  Amazing, even, because the species he’d gotten this pod was stood a full foot shorter at him at best, so he’d spent the entire ride cramped and shoved into a seat not made for someone his size.

But who  _ cared? _

Shiro was home.

Stepping out, Shiro barely had time to blink and adjust to the brighter lights of the castle before he was tackled around the waist.

“Don’t do that!” Pidge cried, clinging tight enough to make him feel like he was going to break in half.  “You scared us!”

“I scared myself,” Shiro replied back, voice going soft.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”  He was interrupted by another body crashing into him, and this time the weight pressed him back into the side of the little pod.  Lance’s arms weaved around Shiro’s shoulders, cheek pressed into Shiro’s jaw.  “Didn’t mean to.  Hey to you too.”

Lance just squeezed tighter, shaking his head rather than talk.  Not that he could have gotten out much, because a moment later, Hunk swept in, wrapping all three of them in a hug so tight and strong that it half-crushed all three of them together.

Shiro couldn’t pretend he minded.

“It’s good to have you back, man,” Hunk told him, voice wavering and wet.  

Reaching over Pidge’s head, Shiro ruffled Hunk’s hair.  “Good to be back.  I’m sorry it took me so long.  You guys been holding up?”

Lance detached himself, taking a deep breath.  “Okay.  Mostly.  I can’t  _ believe _ you put  _ Keith _ in charge!”

Ah, hell, that hadn’t taken long.  As Hunk stepped back to allow Pidge to detangle from the mess of limbs, Shiro shot Keith a smile.  He was watching a few steps back, apparently waiting for the initial chaos to die down to get his moment.  “I knew Keith could handle it.  The Black Lion worked for him, and-” Something clicked, and Shiro frowned.  “Wait, why are you wearing red?”

Keith snorted and stepped forward, grabbing Shiro’s arm to pull him into their familiar hug.  “Took you long enough.  The Black Lion might have worked for me, maybe, but Red wouldn’t budge for anyone else.”

Oh.

Right.  Their bond had gotten close, over the past couple of weeks.  Somehow, Shiro had been thinking about the Black Lion, but never about the Red Lion.

Well.  That was a problem.

Giving him a tight squeeze, Shiro took a moment to rest his forehead in Keith’s hair, quiet and solemn.  It was ‘I’m sorry, I never meant to recreate your fears,’ until Shiro could say it properly later.  Keith wouldn’t appreciate that aired to everyone.  “So, Allura took Black, then?”

“No, I did not,” Allura replied easily.  Shiro nearly jolted, because he hadn’t even seen Allura and Coran past his excited team.  “There was a semblance of a connection, but nothing very strong.  If it came to it, I could have managed, but it would have been a difficult shift.  Luckily, we didn’t have to.”

Shiro blinked slowly at that, glancing between everyone.  “You never used the Black Lion?”

Letting out a choked noise, Lance glanced away.  A second later, Hunk nudged his shoulder, but wouldn’t meet Shiro’s gaze either.  Pidge would, but her bangs were in her face, half over her glasses, which he  _ knew _ meant she was hiding her expression, and Keith was staring blandly, arms crossed.

Okay,  _ what? _

“Oh, no,” Keith replied, a flat drawl.  “We managed just fine.  It wasn’t me or Allura, though.”

Something hit a wall in Shiro’s head.  He glanced at the other three, but none of them were acting like they’d piloted the Black Lion.  And when he glanced at Coran, Shiro froze, because he was just  _ grinning. _  With a lot of teeth.

Finally, Shiro gave up.  “Who, then?”

“He’s in the Black Lion, if you want to say hi,” Pidge replied.  Her jaw twitched.

Freezing, Shiro’s eyes went wide.  “Is it Slav?  Because if it’s Slav I give up right now.”

“It’s not Slav,” Hunk assured him, lips pressed tight.  “He’s in the control room.”  The admission made Coran’s wide grin finally break.

Okay.  Good.  Shiro could work with that.  Because Shiro could deal with a lot, including Slav’s continued presence, but if it turned out the other compatible Black Paladins were Zarkon  _ and _ Slav, Shiro quit the whole job.  End of story.  Whatever the connection could have been for all three, Shiro didn’t want it.

With a final confused look at everyone, Shiro shrugged and started for the Black Lion.  The head moved down smoothly at his presence, and a feeling of  _ relief _ flooded Shiro’s head.  He relaxed, a tension he’d barely realized he was feeling soothed.  Then there was a sharp feeling, the mental equivalent of getting his nose flicked, and Shiro sent a sheepish thought back.  Yeah, his bad.  Sorry.

But he was back.  

Glancing behind him, he saw the crowd of them waiting at the base.  At his look, Lance immediately looked away again, shoulders shaking with repressed  _ something _ , and Allura gave him a look that was far, far to amused and sharp.

Shiro shook his head and walked in.

Standing next to the chair, wearing what had to be a specially made, bovine version of the armor Shiro was wearing, was Kaltenecker the cow.

It had been pretty obvious he’d been had.  Shiro just hadn’t realized how much.

“Really?” He shouted back down, making Katlenecker’s ear twitch in slow curiosity.  Below him, Shiro heard Lance finally lose it, and Hunk a second after.  Within seconds, they were all howling with laughter.

“He was the only one with the right color scheme,” Lance called, through his cackles.  “And look how well he wears the suit!”

Snickering, Pidge gasped.  “And, hey, your lion will probably want you back.  Hooves are very hard on the c-controls.”

Oh, Shiro was going to give them all the training session to end all training sessions.  Then he’d figure out something to do to Allura and Coran.

Walking to the stairs that lead the mouth to the cockpit, Shiro glared over the railings.  “You realize what you’ve done, right?”  His only answer was more laughter, and Shiro waited for them to die down, at least a little.  It took a few minutes, and he kept his expression flat for all of it.  “You brought a  _ cow _ up  _ stairs. _ ”

At first, he got a round of confused looks.  Hunk was the first one to get it.  “Oh.   Uh oh.”

His reaction seemed to clue the other three paladins in that something was up.  Then Pidge gasped.  “Stairs!  I didn’t even think about- oh.  Oh!”

“It was fine, Kaltenecker walked up like a dream,” Lance replied, flapping a hand at them.  But there was an edge of nerves that told Shiro exactly who had masterminded this plot, as if he needed the hint.

Brow furrowed, Keith shrugged.  “I don’t get it.”

“Cows go up stairs, but they don’t go down,” Shiro told them.  Well, he thought it was true. It made sense, in a weird way, and he’d read it before.  Somewhere.  “They won’t do it.”

Slowly, realization dawned on Lance and Keith’s face, as well as Allura and Coran.

Good.

Stepping down the stairs, Shiro pulled off his own helmet and shoved it into Lance’s chest.  “I think this is your problem, now.”

“Mine?”  Lance gaped. “Why mine?”

“You did it.”

“I did-” Lance groaned and clutched the helmet, cheeks puffed out as he sulked.  “Dammit.”

Clapping his gloved hands together, Shiro beamed at them all.  “Thank you for the very warm welcome.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to clean up.  See you all soon!”

With that, Shiro turned on his heel and walked for the door.

“He’s not serious, right?  Kaltenecker will walk right out.”

“I dunno, man, I remember hearing that too.”

“Surely we can just move the cow.  A good shove should encourage it to move.”

“No one is shoving poor Kaltenecker down stairs!  Are you kidding me?”

“Maybe if we get some of his food, he’ll follow us down?”

Shaking his head, Shiro closed the door behind him and started for his room.

It was good to be home.  And not just the castle, but with his family, strange as they were.

He loved them, despite the chaos they brought.

“Heh,” Shiro muttered, mostly to himself.  “Cow-os.”

Having to get the cow back out should have been punishment enough, but Shiro wasn’t inclined to let it go.

And he probably had at least an hour to come up with as many terrible, cow-related puns as possible.

It was going to be a good evening.


End file.
